20 Fights You and Your Spouse Should Stop Having

“In fact, picking a fight may even feel good,” says Jenn Kennedy, a marriage and family therapist in Santa Barbara, California. Some people may even use jealousy as proof of their love, but that quickly wears thin. “Typically jealousy slides into insecurity, defensiveness, and mistrust. Calming down jealousy is difficult and the longer it lasts, the more it hurts the relationship,” she explains.