Pleasure Project Blog
Why Sex After Childbirth Can Feel So Different
Why Sex After Childbirth Can Feel So Different There’s a strange cultural expectation around sex after having a baby. You go to your postpartum appointment, your provider checks that you’re healing, and somewhere around the…
Why couples stop kissing
Why Couples Stop Kissing Think about the beginning of a relationship. There was probably a lot of kissing. Kissing hello. Kissing goodbye. Making out on the couch. Kissing in the kitchen for absolutely no practical reason. Then,…
Loneliness Inside a Long-Term Relationship
Loneliness Inside a Long-Term Relationship When people think about loneliness, they often imagine someone who is single, living alone, or lacking close relationships. But some of the loneliest people I meet are married. They're sitting next to…
Your Therapist Wishes You’d Stop Apologizing
Your Therapist Wishes You'd Stop Apologizing If you've ever been to therapy, chances are you've apologized at least once during a session. Maybe you've apologized for crying, rambling, talking too much, using too much tissue,…
Yes / No / Maybe: An Erotic Exploration List
What are you curious about? What's a definite no? And what sounds sexy in fantasy - but maybe not in real life? The Yes / No / Maybe List is a tool designed to help…
What Midlife Teaches Us About Pleasure
What Midlife Teaches Us About Pleasure When we're younger, pleasure often feels tied to achievement. We tell ourselves we'll relax after the promotion. We'll enjoy ourselves after the kids are older. We'll prioritize our relationships…
Relationship Audit: 10 Questions Couples Should Ask Annually
Relationship Audit: 10 Questions Couples Should Ask Annually Most people schedule yearly physicals, review their finances, and service their cars. Yet many couples go years without intentionally checking in on the health of their relationship.…
Polyamory Myths Monogamous Couples Still Believe
The Cultural Spillover You don’t have to be in a non-monogamous relationship to be influenced by how people think about them. Polyamory tends to get simplified. Either idealized as freedom or dismissed as dysfunction. But the myths…
How to Spot (and Stop) Avoidant Intimacy Patterns
Some people avoid conflict. Others avoid closeness. And most of the time, they don’t realize they’re doing it. Avoidant intimacy patterns rarely look dramatic from the outside. In fact, many people with avoidant tendencies appear highly…
Sex Tech: What’s Out There & What’s Actually Useful
The Explosion of Options Sex tech (or OG toys) has expanded quickly. And like most rapidly growing industries, it’s a mix of thoughtful innovation and… things no one really asked for. The messaging tends to…
“I Don’t Want Sex” vs. “I Don’t Want Sex Like That”
The Misheard Message These two statements sound similar. Close enough that most couples don’t pause to distinguish them. But they land very differently. “I don’t want sex” often gets interpreted as global. A lack of…
Desire vs. Arousal: The Mismatch That Confuses Everyone
The Core Confusion Most people assume desire and arousal are the same thing. They use the words interchangeably, as if wanting sex and feeling turned on are part of one seamless experience. But clinically, they’re…
What Reality TV Teaches Us About Modern Intimacy
Reality TV isn’t really about love. It’s about visibility. Who gets chosen. Who gets rejected. Who is desirable enough to stay. And who is sent home. The reason reality dating shows captivate us isn’t just…
What Not to Say After Sex
Sex doesn’t end when the physical movement stops. It ends when the emotional meaning settles. What you say in the minutes after intimacy often carries more weight than people realize. Post-sex is a neurologically sensitive…
Late Stage Capitalism Is In Your Bed
Burnout doesn’t usually show up because you’re weak. More often, it settles in quietly under the weight of constant productivity, financial pressure, and the subtle message that your value is tied to output. One of the most…
Gratitude & Intimacy
Passion doesn’t usually disappear because love is gone. More often, it fades quietly under the weight of familiarity, stress, and the subtle shift from noticing to assuming. One of the most underrated, and evidence-backed, ways to keep…
When Sex Starts to Feel Like a Chore
There’s a quiet concern I hear often in therapy rooms and inboxes alike: “I love my partner… but sex feels like another thing on my to-do list.” If you’ve found yourself thinking this, you’re not broken,…
The Gender Orgasm Gap
Why It Matters Let’s talk about something that’s been hiding in plain sight: The orgasm gap. Across countless studies (and probably countless bedrooms), one pattern keeps showing up: In heterosexual encounters, men are significantly more likely to orgasm…
Porn Use: How to Have Conversations About It
Few topics make couples freeze faster than the word porn. Some people watch it together. Some watch privately. Some don’t want it in the picture at all. And yet, porn often becomes a silent player in…
The Surprising Ways Exercise Affects Your Sex Life
Exercise Changes How You Experience Pleasure We all know exercise is “good for you.” It lowers stress, boosts mood, strengthens your heart, keeps your body moving. But what most people don’t realize is that exercise also changes your sex…




















