Pleasure Project Blog
Pillow Talk
Slowing Your Post Erotic Roll to Savor the Afterglow Pillow talk, the intimate conversation and connection shared between couples immediately following sexual experiences, plays a vital role in deepening emotional bonds and enhancing relationship satisfaction. While physical intimacy…
Sensual Touch
Sensual touch is one of the most powerful forms of communication in human relationships. It transcends words, forging deep connections between partners by appealing to both emotional and physical senses. Through the act of touch, we…
Best Practices Review for Clinicians Offering Sex Therapy with Lesbians
I came out as lesbian at age 19 and have navigated that process repeatedly for three decades. The queer community is consistently neglected in research, and therefore our clinical knowledge is hampered. Pairing my passions…
Normalizing
Shame is a one of the hardest and most common issues related to mental health. Feeling “wrong” or bad in whatever form causes embarrassment, dread and avoidance. One of my favorite therapeutic tools to help…
Erectile Dysfunction
Brad was starting to avoid sex. He couldn’t count on having an erection, so his anxiety would spike at the thought of initiating intimacy. His partner noticed the avoidance but she did not link it…
In the Flesh vs. On the Screen
In our modern, digital age, the accessibility of porn has changed how we approach sexuality and if we prioritize humans over screens. While porn consumption is often seen as a private, harmless activity, its effects…
Embracing Sexuality After a Conservative Upbringing
Growing up in a conservative environment often comes with a set of rigid social norms and moral values that significantly shape one’s understanding of sexuality. For many of my clients, these formative years can create…
Scheduled Sex
How do you prioritize what matters in your life? People have very different strategies and expectations for setting and navigating priorities. My fellow Type A’s put most things on a list and take extreme joy…
Attachment Strategies in the Bedroom…
There’s a long-standing joke that therapy starts with “tell me about your mother.” While everything doesn’t come back to that single caregiver, much of our worldview does hinge on how we were raised and shown care. Unconscious…
The Function of Sex
One of the questions I often ask my clients is why – simply why do you want to have a different or “better” s*x life? It seems like a given that everybody would want this, and yet…
P*rn: In Good Times or in Bad
Hot Potato Porn Porn is a loaded topic. It sits squarely between the two hats I wear professionally: sex therapist and sex addiction therapist. For some, porn is lubricant for letting go. Albeit tragically unrealistic,…
Book Recommendations
Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and enhancing intimacy within your relationships is a profound and empowering experience. This week, we bring you a curated list of books that delve into the realms of passion,…
The Psychology of Faking It
Org*sms are not always easy to achieve—especially for women. They (mostly) require some or all of the following: focus, communication, patience, vulnerability. They also require that women put their own pleasure as a priority in…
Does “Sleep Divorce” Mean the End?
Anyone over 40 years old knows that sleeping becomes a closely guarded, prized experience. It's how we regenerate and keep our minds clear and focused. It's also hard to come by for many people, and…
Good Vibrations
I’m currently reading Betty Dodson’s Sex for One. I am delighted by her evangelism for the pursuit of pleasure. Starting in the late 1960s, Dodson, an artist, turned her focus toward eroticism. She began drawing…
Handling Sexual Rejection
We’ve all been there. In fact, we’ve likely been on both sides of the no, and neither side is easy. You and your partner are feeling frisky, and the interest seems to be mutual and…
What’s Different About Lesbian Sex?
June is Pride Month 🌈 I’m offering a Pleasure Circle for lesbian and bisexual women in July. I’m also dedicating this newsletter to the topic of my PhD dissertation: Sex Therapy with Lesbians. My goal was to…
Female Masturbation
When I Think About You, I Touch Myself (diVINYLS) That song seemed so naughty in 1990. Because I was 13 and because no woman had ever admitted to touching herself, I couldn’t believe it was singing through…
Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships
One of the most frequent reasons people come to see me as a sex therapist is to talk about the lack of desire they feel in their long-term relationship. These couples have been together 10,…
Pleasure Circle Participant Feedback
I recently received honest and meaningful input from the cohort that just completed the Pleasure Circle. They gave me some awesome feedback, and I thought it might be helpful if you're deciding whether this program…