Pleasure Project Blog
How to Spot (and Stop) Avoidant Intimacy Patterns
Some people avoid conflict. Others avoid closeness. And most of the time, they don’t realize they’re doing it. Avoidant intimacy patterns rarely look dramatic from the outside. In fact, many people with avoidant tendencies appear highly…
Sex Tech: What’s Out There & What’s Actually Useful
The Explosion of Options Sex tech (or OG toys) has expanded quickly. And like most rapidly growing industries, it’s a mix of thoughtful innovation and… things no one really asked for. The messaging tends to…
“I Don’t Want Sex” vs. “I Don’t Want Sex Like That”
The Misheard Message These two statements sound similar. Close enough that most couples don’t pause to distinguish them. But they land very differently. “I don’t want sex” often gets interpreted as global. A lack of…
Desire vs. Arousal: The Mismatch That Confuses Everyone
The Core Confusion Most people assume desire and arousal are the same thing. They use the words interchangeably, as if wanting sex and feeling turned on are part of one seamless experience. But clinically, they’re…
What Reality TV Teaches Us About Modern Intimacy
Reality TV isn’t really about love. It’s about visibility. Who gets chosen. Who gets rejected. Who is desirable enough to stay. And who is sent home. The reason reality dating shows captivate us isn’t just…
What Not to Say After Sex
Sex doesn’t end when the physical movement stops. It ends when the emotional meaning settles. What you say in the minutes after intimacy often carries more weight than people realize. Post-sex is a neurologically sensitive…
Late Stage Capitalism Is In Your Bed
Burnout doesn’t usually show up because you’re weak. More often, it settles in quietly under the weight of constant productivity, financial pressure, and the subtle message that your value is tied to output. One of the most…
Gratitude & Intimacy
Passion doesn’t usually disappear because love is gone. More often, it fades quietly under the weight of familiarity, stress, and the subtle shift from noticing to assuming. One of the most underrated, and evidence-backed, ways to keep…
When Sex Starts to Feel Like a Chore
There’s a quiet concern I hear often in therapy rooms and inboxes alike: “I love my partner… but sex feels like another thing on my to-do list.” If you’ve found yourself thinking this, you’re not broken,…
The Gender Orgasm Gap
Why It Matters Let’s talk about something that’s been hiding in plain sight: The orgasm gap. Across countless studies (and probably countless bedrooms), one pattern keeps showing up: In heterosexual encounters, men are significantly more likely to orgasm…
Porn Use: How to Have Conversations About It
Few topics make couples freeze faster than the word porn. Some people watch it together. Some watch privately. Some don’t want it in the picture at all. And yet, porn often becomes a silent player in…
The Surprising Ways Exercise Affects Your Sex Life
Exercise Changes How You Experience Pleasure We all know exercise is “good for you.” It lowers stress, boosts mood, strengthens your heart, keeps your body moving. But what most people don’t realize is that exercise also changes your sex…
Why “Good Sex” Looks Different in Long-Term Relationships
Good Sex Evolves. Here’s Why That’s a Good Thing When we think about “good sex,” most of us imagine heat, spontaneity, and that electric pull you feel when everything just clicks. But over time, years into a…
How to Talk About Lube Without Embarrassment
Few words make people squirm quite like lube. Somehow, this simple, useful, glorious little helper has gotten wrapped up in shame, awkwardness, and outdated assumptions like it’s only for “older people” or those who “have a…
Power Dynamics in Sex
When we think about sex, most of us focus on desire, pleasure, maybe even performance. But underneath all of that is something we rarely talk about: power.
Rituals of Intimacy Outside the Bedroom
When we hear the word “intimacy,” most of us think about sex. Hot touches, steamy moments, what happens behind closed doors. And yes—sex is one powerful form of intimacy.
Rom-Com Love
If you grew up in the heyday of rom-coms—When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, Notting Hill, 10 Things I Hate About You—you were fed a very specific story about love and sex.
Sex Without Orgasm
We’ve been sold a very narrow version of what “good sex” looks like: hot, heavy, and always ending in orgasm. It’s the grand finale, the goal, the thing everyone’s supposedly chasing.
Genital Self-Esteem
You’d think with all the time we spend being sexual (or thinking about sex), we’d have a solid relationship with our own bodies. But for many people, there’s a quiet undercurrent of shame, awkwardness, or just plain confusion when it comes to genitals.
How to Share a Fantasy
You’ve been thinking about a fantasy—something that turns you on, something you’ve never said out loud. Maybe you want to share it with your partner. But the worry creeps in: What if they judge me? What if they get quiet or weird? What if I ruin what we have?