The Function of Sex
One of the questions I often ask my clients is why – simply why do you want to have a different or “better” s*x life? It seems like a given that everybody would want this, and yet most people don’t stop to…
Porn: In Good Times or in Bad
Hot Potato Porn Porn is a loaded topic. It sits squarely between the two hats I wear professionally: sex therapist and sex addictiontherapist. For some, porn is lubricant for letting go. Albeit tragically unrealistic, it often provides a welcome spark…
The Psychology of Faking It
Org*sms are not always easy to achieve—especially for women. They (mostly) require some or all of the following: focus, communication, patience, vulnerability. They also require that women put their own pleasure as a priority in the dynamic. This isn’t as…
Does “Sleep Divorce” Mean the End?
Anyone over 40 years old knows that sleeping becomes a closely guarded, prized experience. It’s how we regenerate and keep our minds clear and focused. It’s also hard to come by for many people, and having someone next to you…
Good Vibrations
I’m currently reading Betty Dodson’s Sex for One. I am delighted by her evangelism for the pursuit of pleasure. Starting in the late 1960s, Dodson, an artist, turned her focus toward eroticism. She began drawing nudes, and she had several…
Handling Sexual Rejection
We’ve all been there. In fact, we’ve likely been on both sides of the no, of sexual rejection, and neither side is easy. You and your partner are feeling frisky, and the interest seems to be mutual and building in…
What’s Different About Lesbian Sex?
June is Pride Month 🌈 I’m dedicating this newsletter to the topic of my PhD dissertation: Sex Therapy with Lesbians. My goal was to contribute insight about how same-sex attracted women are unique in their needs for sex therapy and…
Female Masturbation
When I Think About You, I Touch Myself (diVINYLS) That song seemed so naughty in 1990. Because I was 13 and because no woman had ever admitted to touching herself, I couldn’t believe it was singing through my radio. With no evidence…
Debunking Sexual Myths
Does a fish know it’s wet? Much like a fish swimming in the ocean with water as a lifelong given to their conditions, women are often floating in a sea of cultural myths that go unchecked. These myths hold you back…